14 SKIRTS OF SPRING: Yes, it's time to shave those legs, run some miles, and get some sun!

Couldn't resist.

Love,

Dylan

30 Things to Do If Your Date Keeps Checking Girls Out

You're standing there with your boyfriend (or date) and some skinny minny 18 year old walks by, hooker heels and all.  You hold your breath.  God, please put the blinders on him.  You look at him-- nope, he's not looking back at you.  It's happened-- he is TOTALLY checking her out. You feel like crap.  Why did you even go out tonight?  The feeling sinks in.  Does he not value you?  How are you going to sit through an entire meal knowing he's oogling the teen girl at the table over?  How do you handle this?  I've come up with 30 options. Take your pick!  
1.  A slap suits the situation quite nicely.
2. Hit on the waiter when he comes back-- tell him your food is cold and that you "like it hot" *wink*.
3.  If you are at a restaurant ask him if you can switch sides of the table.  Upon switching, look in the direction of the girl an say, "Wow, yeah, much better view."

4.  Start talking about Channing Tatum's body.

5. Ask your date if he'd like you to get the girl's number for him.

6.  Order the most fattening items on the menu and tell him you're glad he loves you the way you are.   Wolf them down like a starving pig.

7. Invite her to your table for a drink, and a friendly little chat.

8.  Grab his face with your hands, look him sweetly in the eye with a smile and say, "You know, out of every guy here, I can't stop looking at you, babe."

9. Go to "the bathroom" and never come back.

10. Go up to her and tell her, "Heyyy, so my boyfriend thinks you're hot, and you know what, you can have him."

11. Tell him you're late for your next date.
12.  If you're at a restaurant, ask the waiter if you can move to a table with a better view.
13.  Confess that you have feelings for his older, hotter brother.
14. Say, "Gee, aren't there a lot of hot people here?"
15.  Tell him the guy at the table next to you is out with his girlfriend but keeps checking you out. Threaten to go tell his girlfriend.
16.  Ask if he needs a napkin for his drool.
17. When your food comes, tell the waitress you'd actually like a box... to-go..... right now.
18. Call him out and say, "That girl has a great body, doesn't she?"
19. Tell him about your friend's boyfriend who keeps checking out other girls when he's out with her.... and how you told her to break up with him.
20.  Ask him what time he is taking you home.
21.  Mention that you broke up with your last boyfriend because he couldn't keep his eyes off other girls, to the point where you just didn't feel special.
22.  Zone out for a second and then *smiling* say, "Sorry, I was distracted by someone."

23. Ask him to start a staring contest with you. 

24.  If you're at a sports bar, start a game of ranking the players on TV.

25. Say with a smile, "Sweetheart, I don't know if I've told you how happy I am that you only have eyes for me."

26.  Dramatically move your body to look in the direction that he's staring.  Then ask him intensely, "Oh sorry I thought I was missing something.  You seemed distracted."

27. Give "the eyes" to the next man who walks by.

28.  A kick under the table does the trick.

29.  Ask him which of his friends are single.

30. Dump him.

My Question: What do YOU do?

XOXO,

Dylan

5 Productive Things To Do This Weekend

1. Read the newspaper, and if you don't have one, buy a subscription to one.  Why?  Because a) it's like a present in your driveway every morning and b) you will get a fantastic return on the investment when you consider all of those "money saving coupons."  2. Drive through a car wash and vacuum the inside out.  Why?  Because let's face it-- road salt is not good for your car.  You might as well drench it with nail polish remover.                                                                              3. Smother your feet with lotion and wear socks to bed.  Why?  Because there is nothing more cringe-worthy than playing footsie with dry, cracked tortoise feet.                       4.  Clean out and take inventory of your pantry.  Tip: Don't buy groceries until you've used up all of the things in your pantry.  If certain things (i.e. pasta noodles) don't excite you, then look up recipes on Pinterest to find ways to use the things you have. 

5.  Find/steal/borrow a dog to hold.  I am house sitting for the owners of this adorable maltese mix, Darby.  I call her Darbs.  She is like a little toy, all snuggled on my legs while I type this.  Check out my cute little girl below.

XoXo,

Dylan & Darbs

Hair Inspiration: 11 Locks I Love

In honor of Valentine's Day, I decided to go on a little omg-I-love-her-hair kick.  Why? I am coming to terms with the fact that big sexy mermaid hair is not always "professional." Therefore, as a second semester senior, I figured I should get out all of these big sexy mermaid hair urges before I enter the corporate world of librarian buns, claw clips, and (*gasp*) bobs.  Come along and indulge in locks I love.

Lots of Love,

Dylan

50 Signs You Have Found True Love

1. Love doesn't rush you when you're doing your make up. 

2. Love sparks uncontrollable laughter about the most mundane facts of life.
3. Love kisses your forehead when you have a headache.
4. Love gives you a second chance when you snap.

5. Love believes that tomorrow will be better, stronger, happier.

6. Love is one thing that remains stable when life is throwing a million decisions at you.

7. Love doesn't mind that you forgot to shave your legs.

8. Love says you look beautiful when you wake up.

9. Love always opens the door.

10. Love leaves you surprise notes.
11. Love asks how you feel.

12. Love lets you win at the game.

13. Love makes you want to know everything about another's soul.

14. Love thinks ahead to meet your needs.

15. Love desires your heart more than your body.

16. Love cuts your sandwich in the shape of a heart.

17. Love learns about your passions, as if its one of their own.

18.  Love jumps your car for you when it doesn't start.

19. Love never keeps secrets-- it's always transparent.

20.  Love appreciates you in all of your forms as equally: happy/sad, strong/weak, made up/done down.

21. Love makes your life easier, not harder.

22.  Love says yes, not maybe.

23. Love doesn't flirt with another's trust.

24. Love supplies, it doesn't demand. (haha, holla Econ101)

25. Love eliminates doubt, it doesn't create it.

26. Love meets you where you're at, it doesn't drag you around.

27. Love carries you over the puddle.

28. Love asks if you're too hot or too cold.

29. Love makes sure you get home safely.

30.  Love follows through.

31. Love is always a lady.

32.  Love is always a gentleman.

33. Love is not envious of a partner's success.
34. Love speaks softly and listens intently.

35. Love knows how to spark laughter.

36. Love breaks down self-consciousness.

37.  Love breaks down walls through vulnerable moments, it doesn't build walls.

38. Love watches chick flicks without complaining.

39. Love watches action movies with big guns and explosives and loud noises without complaining.

40.. Love looks happy in photos.

41. Love doesn't depend on the context.... whether out on the town or at relaxed home, it's vivid.

42.  Love never uses "If then's."

43. Love clouds your head with glitter, not dust.

44.  Love considers outcomes before it makes decisions.

45.  Love takes you "as-is" without negotiating.

46.  Love smiles with the entire face, not just the mouth.

47.  Love defends another's honor when it's at stake.

48. Love gives you the last piece of chewing gum.

49. Love creates security, not suspicion.

50. Love makes you feel valued and irreplaceable-- like a snowflake that cannot be replicated.

Love Love Love,

Dylan

Black & Beige, the NEW Black & White

Black and Beige. Black and Beige. Black and Beige. Black and Beige.  Yes, that was a tribute to Black and Yellow (which is a song by Wiz Khalifa for all of my, ehem, "mature" readers).  This springtime color combination is much more flattering than the stark black and white look of seasons past.  Why?  1) You won't look like a jailbird, 2) You will get in touch with your inner Audrey Hepburn, and 3) You'll be able to sit on park benches without walking away with "skid marks" on your rear.  And if you haven't noticed, only half of the population can pull off stark white without looking ill.  To all my fair skinned sistahs, this trend was MADE for you!

XOXO,

Dylan