Here in London, temperatures are slowly rising... and so are the shorts. That's right, high-rise "mom jeans" are back-- in the form of trendy vintage shorts! You can find them anywhere from Topshop to Urban Outfitters. My friend Brittany (an aspiring stylist) dressed me in a pair for her photo shoot here! They're SUPER cute when worn CORRECTLY. But recently I've seen some disastrous donks walking around London, and I want to post some helpful tips before this "diaper epidemic" sweeps America. Consider this your fashion flu shot!
1. Your shorts are too short if the pocket lining is hanging out of the bottom like a dirty Kleenex.
2. If the pockets appear to be slanted on your lower back, you likely have "diaper-butt-syndrome."
3. Unless your name is Amy Winehouse, you can't get away with the long, string-cheese edges.
4. Choose a pair with a zipper fly rather than a 4-button fly. The style fits your bum COMPLETELY different. Trust me, I've tried on many pairs.
5. Just because you have little legs, it does not mean these shorts will flatter you. It's all about waist/hip/booty/leg proportions.
6. The point is to define your waist-- so please, add a belt, and no baggy tees. I think a tight strapless top looks especially adorable tucked in.
7. A simple pair of wedges can be the difference between looking frumpy & stumpy and looking hot & dangerous. Yes, I just made a Ke$ha reference. Release your annoyances in a comment below.
8. If wearing the shorts causes you physical pain, they probably look horrible. *See the pictures below*
9. You should be able to slide your hand in the pocket without cutting off your circulation.
10. Ask an honest friend how they look before buying them. And I emphasize "honest", because we all have that friend who always says, "Oh-em-gee, you should totally get them!" She just might be a pretty little liar-- you never know.
In short: BUYER BEWARE!
Love,
Dylan
As far as I can tell, yours is the only cute pair I've seen so far. I'm just afraid it would make my bum look a million miles long.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Hannah... I'm not a fan of this look!! I think only you can actually pull it off Dylan... most people I see trying to pull this off just end up looking silly! Great post though!
ReplyDeleteHonest friends are the best, especially shopping! =] MOA trip soon, please.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Hannah and Bridgette! And Hannah, I think you'd rock them! You should try a pair on and see if you like :)
ReplyDeleteAnd Britnie, um yes, PLEASE! I miss shopping with no sales-tax, and with YOU! Aw I still remember when we got your jacket-- great decision.
ReplyDeleteI love that the high waisted look is coming back. I think it's so much more comfortable! I don't have an pairs of shorts like this yet, but I think I'm going to pick up some soon. (with an honest friend, of course)
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