Long distance relationships are hard. My boyfriend just went back to the states after visiting me in London for 10 days. Saying "goodbye"is not fun. Taking the tube home to an empty room is even less fun. Jesse and I have had nearly a dozen airport-goodbyes in just 2.5 years. Call us professionals. Here are some of my tips for "LDR" survival.
1. Look at photos of the two of you together. Use Picnik to edit them. It passes time.
2. Instead of counting down the days until you see each other again, count down the number of weekends. This makes the time seem much shorter. Just think of "how many more weekends without them" instead of "how many more days without them."
3. Hold their sweatshirt.
4. Listen to all of their favorite songs and music they gave you. Listen to these on your ipod on long walks. It will be as if they were there with you.
5. Keep in touch with their family. It will keep everyone connected.
6. Keep track of all of the "lasts" (i.e. the last time you take this train before you see them again, the last paper you write before you see them again, the last time you go shopping before you see them again, and so on).
7. Get ahead on all of your homework and papers.... getting stressful obligations out of the way makes for a happier relationship.
8. Plan out exactly what you will do on your first day together. For me... Jesse will pick me up at the airport at 10:02 pm on April 15th, 2011. We will stop at Wawa on the way home for a Diet Coke (for me) and Coke (for him). Once home I will shower and go to bed. Then we will spend Saturday at the beach, shower off the sand, go to our favorite Chinese buffet for a late lunch, and spend the afternoon walking around the outlet mall down the road. I can't wait.
Just like that-- plan your first day together.
9. Send each other Facebook messages every day. Make them video messages (talking only, please) if you'd like!
10. Immerse yourself in working out! It's a great distraction. And think about how they will like your tight tummy or toned arms next time they see you.
11. Print off all of the Facebook messages you've ever sent to each other, and paste them into a scrapbook or journal. One day these "cyber-love-letters" will be invaluable treasures to you. What if Facebook crashes?
12. Spend time looking for cute gifts for them and their family.
13. Go exploring and bring your camera to take photos of things they would like.
14. When you drink tea, pour two cups-- one for them.
15. Practice cooking new things that you think they might like. Next time you're together show off your new culinary skills.
16. Take time to learn about one of their hobbies or interests. For me, I'm going to study up on luxury cars and learn how to identify the different brands. Then I will probably go to the Nike Store and look at the workout clothes/shoes he likes.
17. Remember that it's okay to admire cute couples. Heck, you might as well stare at them and cry.
18. Focus on building your career. Read books. Read the Wall Street Journal. Watch the world news on T.V. These things are very important to growth, and they will keep your mind interested in productive things.
19. Listen to "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carleton... on repeat.
20. Leave a comment below telling me how you cope with your long distance relationship! I'd love some tips!
XoXo,
Dylan
I love this.
ReplyDeleteI'm so worried about being apart this summer.
Thanks Dylan!
Skype!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked it! And of course Skype is great too! :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't think it was possible, but you two just keep getting cuter!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Hannah! That is really sweet of you. I smiled lol :)
ReplyDeleteI've been in a relationship with the man I want to marry (Shh! Well, he knows it and we've talked a bit about it so, yay! =) ) for seven months now. We started dating two weeks before I moved seven hours away. We knew what we were getting into and agreed that life isn't fun without risks and it has been the best risk I've taken.
ReplyDeleteCounting weekends is DEFINITELY something I do. It's also helpful to plan other trips with them. For instance, in April, we're going to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens to see all the cherry blossom trees in bloom. We've been planning it since October. It's always nice to have special trips planned!
Well I have had this experience for about 3 years and it ended at the beginning of fall...
ReplyDeleteNever again :) Too hard, too much drama, in my opinion. Plus, both have to be truthworthy and all otherwise it surely doesn't work.
But I'm glad to see it is working well for you ;)
X
You sure stuck it out for a while-- 3 years! Good job. I'm glad you learned from it though. Everything happens for a reason! I'm just glad to only have 19 more days of it :)
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog on StumbleUpon, and let me just say I've read this much already and I only found it a few minutes ago! I love it!!
ReplyDeleteThis post hits home especially for me because even though I'm not technically in a long-distance relationship, my boyfriend and I are apart each summer between semesters at school. We both go to the same school in Lynchburg, Virginia (Liberty University) but he is from Cincinnati, Ohio and I'm from Toronto, Ontario (Canada =P).
Last summer was the first summer we were apart and it was REALLY hard for both of us. Even though we both felt that the relationship was right and we both hoped to marry each other someday, we had to work through major issues that made each of us question the relationship.
Anyways, after all that, I guess the tips that I can offer are as follows:
1. Communicate: clearly, respectfully and as often as you can. DON'T assume things about the other person, make sarcastically mean jokes over text messages. DO encourage and lift each other up more often than you would in person. Also, if you love them, tell them often.
2. Don't allow one or two days to ruin your whole perspective of the relationship. Take a deep breath, try to understand the situation from the other person's point of view and have a good attitude (and pray!) about the next day.
3. Leave the relationship in God's hands and don't try to control each other. =)
4. Don't give up on each other easily.
5. Remind yourself of something cute that your boyfriend did for you when you were together when you start to get down.
6. LOOK PRETTY WHEN ON SKYPE WITH EACH OTHER. Trust me, if he doesn't see you often, he wants to see you looking hot.
This summer is our second summer and so far it is going much much better than the last one. We stuck it out and I couldn't be happier that we didn't give up!
-Avery. <3
P.S. Sorry this was a book.
hope my summer goes as well as yours.
Deletesmk
Avery, I LOVE the reply you left on my post. Thank you for illustrating that God needs to be the center of a relationship, too :) Good luck this summer! I'm on Day 1 of being apart right now! Starting strong, however :)
ReplyDeleteMy guy lives in India. I live in Hong Kong. I miss him. He can't live with us until he gets his passport. It's been hard. My daughter misses him, I miss him and I've tried very hard not to cry sometimes in front of him over Skype.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes this harder is that he doesn't know how to use computers, so we can't play computer games together! We can't have all of the options that you other folks do. Makes me batty sometimes. He doesn't speak English...that's why.
But it's been 7 months since we've seen each other. It will be another 3 to 4 until he can finally come here and stay.
It's hard but love is the deciding factor.
If I didn't love him so much I would have left a long time ago.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
ReplyDelete