1. If you don't want to talk, then pretend you are asleep. It's okay, everyone is doing it.
2. If you eat, everyone will stare at you.
3. They tell you to "mind the gap." The "gap" is actually a death trap.
4. Don't forget to grab the Evening Standard (a free newspaper) before boarding during rush hour. It's the only way to avoid making eye contact when you are packed like cattle.
5. If you have to cough.... DON'T. You're not allowed to.
6. "Stand back, doors closing" also means "Quick, jump on!"
7. Singing and humming out loud is fine, but don't speak actual words to anyone.
8. Blind people DO take public transportation.
9. System delays are never an excuse for being late for school or work.
10. If you are holding the pocket-size "Underground" map in your hand, you might as well be saying, "Hi, I'm a tourist. You should pick-pocket me."
This almost makes me want to sell my car and rely on public transport. Anyone else?