Modern Wife Life

Black Friday (noun): The day after Thanksgiving (12 am) when all of the crazy old women [and their children] ransack the outlet malls in their pajamas and worn out sweatshirts.

This "holiday" is not new to me.  I've gone every year since before I could drive.  My cousin and I would take my mom's car and hit the road at about 3-4 am. This was no joke.  But now, I have a different story.  Let me walk you through the spectacle of Black Friday 2010.

1. The mother-daughter team.
To the mother-daughter team, Black Friday is the World Cup of shopping.  They wear a uniform of ratty pajama pants with Columbia winter jackets on top.  Their strategy is "divide an conquer."  They yell at each other across the store and mess up every neatly folded pile in their path. Occasionally, you hear one of them shout, "I FOUND IT!"
2. The stores are trying to trick us.
This adorable hat was on sale at Gap for 40% off the day before Thanksgiving, but on Black Friday it was only 25% off.  Does it really make sense for stores to offer the lowest prices to customers on the busiest shopping day of the year?  From a business perspective, this doesn't make sense... because it's not true.
3.  $10 parking lots in peoples' driveways.
I'm serious.  Along the highway that the outlet mall was on, grown adults [and their children] stood at the end of their driveways with crappy posters that said, "$10 Parking"... as if people would actually take the bait.  There were plenty of open parking spaces at the outlets.  But... some hoodlums found themselves hiking along Richmond Road... in the dark... at 2 am... weighed down by several shopping bags in each arm.  That's right, these folks got suckered into the makeshift, $10 parking lots.
4.  F.Y.I. The line outside Coach is such a ploy. 
Let me share a marketing secret.  The long lines outside Coach serve double duty.  First, they prevent tiny expensive things from being stolen (obviously).  Second, by making you stand in line to enter the store, the company forces you to invest your time in Coach.  Once you're in the store, you will be more likely to purchase a product, because you are subconsciously driven to be consistent with your previous investment.  If you leave without making a purchase, you will be more likely to experience cognitive dissonance and guilt.  Hello, psychology. 
5.  The Final Outcome:
I shopped from 1 am - 6 am, and came home with NOTHING. That's right.  I even found myself in Target at 4:20 am, and after waiting in line for an hour just to get into the store, I realized that all I wanted was a bottle of conditioner and some Diet Coke.  What was I thinking?  I wasn't.

        

This morning Groupon emailed me about American Apparel's online, 3 day sale! Check it out on the site!  I am a big fan of American Apparel skirts.  They are high-quality, have an elastic waistband, and can be worn in many ways and in every season.  Also, the skirts are long enough to cover your cheeks, imagine that.  In particular, I'm loving the Jersey Pocket Skirt  ($30) and the California Fleece Tulip Skirt ($32).  I have the Jersey Pocket Skirt in Heather Black and I've gotten SO much use out of it in the past 3 years!  It's perfect for going out because you can put your ID and a few dolla dolla billz in the [deep] pockets!  Both skirts come in 11-12 different colors.  AND with the sale you can get both skirts for $37 total! Check out all of the different ways to wear them. 

"No Shave November" is a lot like swimsuit-season.  It's a tradition where men show off just how "manly" they are... in the form of facial hair.  I realize that this may not be the real purpose of "No Shave November," but behind all of the fuss about unity and collectivity among the male species, I believe that there is an underlying sense of competition and comparison.   Why do I think this?
I hear guys sizing up and commenting on each others' facial hair.  I watch some give up halfway through November, because instead of getting that Jeremiah Johnson beard, they end up with the whiskers of a 55 year old woman going through menopause. 
Now, I don't think its necessarily fair to compare facial hair, because rather than being reflective of a guy's manhood, it's more reflective of his genetic makeup.  But this isn't going to stop the trend of comparison.  Hence, I'm going share a few ideas of how to make your stubble work, no matter how much (or little) you have. Check out the photos below for the a couple of examples of the right way to do facial hair.  
Notice that they follow these two rules:1) consistent & even length and 2) once it starts getting patchy, don't try to "wait it out".... because in the meantime you'll look like a. you're going through a breakup or b. you lost your job.

I got ACCEPTED! 
This spring I'll be living in the heart of London... tromping around the cobblestone streets in my little black boots... and studying fashion business at one of the one of the best fashion institutes worldwide.  Praise God for this opportunity!      I cannot wait for this part of my life to begin.  Comment below with any tips for traveling in Europe. Also, what clothes should I bring?  More importantly, what shoes!? Remember, I'll be limited by one, big suitcase...
Luckily, my arms are strong. 

1. Shift dresses are perfect for shopping.  They're easy to whip it off/on in the fitting room.
2. You can wear them to both church and a nightclub- how versatile, right?!
3.  Shift dresses are perfect for travel!  Think about it: an entire outfit in 1 piece of cloth.  Talk about packing light!
4. "Winterize" the dress with tights and a scarf.
5. On rainy days, these dresses show off your obnoxious, colorful rain boots.
6. Women of all ages can get away with the shift dress, but, moms, pay attention to length.
7.  Shift dresses are constantly on sale, since they're made for every season.  Most of mine were between $3-$20.  That's right, $3.
8.  If it feels "too short," buy it anyways.  You can always wear it over leggings... as long as it covers that donk.
9.  If it only comes in an XXL, you should still buy it.  Cinch it in at the waist with a thick belt.  I do this all the time.
10. If you're feeling really adventurous check out the maternity section.  Again, just belt that sucker.  And cut off the labels.
11. And guess what?.. Men LOVE dresses! They symbolize femininity a.k.a. they bring all dem boyz to da yard.
12. They're perfect for "fat days." Forget trying to squeeze that booty into skinny jeans.  You gotta be kidding.

Let's face it, winter weather puts our hair through hell.  
1. The cold temperatures, blistering wind, and dry air creates breakage, frizz, and dullness.  
2. Not to mention, if you have long hair like me, it's always getting caught under your jacket or awkwardly halfway under your scarf.  
3. And what about wearing a hoodie?  If you lay your hair over the back of the hood you look like a smurf.  If you pull your hair to the sides of your face it gets annoying real fast. Not to mention, you look like a mop-head.