First we have the typical businessman/woman who is traveling for work. These people are often wearing nice jeans and a button up or a cardigan. They, of course, appear to be talking to themselves a schizophrenic, but really they're on their blue-tooth headsets, thinking they're on some super important mission.
Tip #1: Never buy a blue-tooth headset.
Then there is the cute little little family of four who is going to Disney World. The mom is likely wearing a fanny pack, some mom-jeans, and an ill-fitting t-shirt. The dad will be wearing nondescript jeans and a "dad sweater" from Old Navy, probably carrying around the Mickey Mouse backpacks his children got sick of carrying. The children are crazed little brats who won't shut up about the airplane or seeing the real Donald Duck at Disney World.
Tip #2: Consider giving your children sedatives before flying. JK. But on a more serious note, moms, please throw away those mom-jeans. Even though you may be trying to cover-up a tummy, they only serve to create more of a tummy.
Then, in a separate category, we have the teenagers- wishing they could have stayed home alone instead of going along with the family to a family reunion in Wyoming. They are often off in their own world- revolved around texting, their mp3 player, and Cosmo (for girls)/Sports Illustrated (for boys).
Tip #3: If you're going to read Cosmo on an airplane, the people around you will look at that "100 Different Positions" article, and they ARE judging you.
The I-just-rolled-out-of-bed flyer. These people don't travel often, but when they do, they want to be the most comfortable person on the plane. They see flying as a big event and prepare for it weeks in advance. They lay out their velour sweatsuit or fresh set of sweats the night before. In their Lands End duffel bag, they pack enough snacks and books for every passenger on their plane. They're also the only flyer on the plane with one of those U-shaped neck pillows. I don't care how comfortable they are, they look RIDICULOUS, and unless you've been in some sort of neck-jarring car accident, LEAVE IT AT HOME!
Tip #4: Don't wear anything that you could buy at an airport.
The last category, my favorite, is one often overlooked, the flight attendants. These young women often give much importance to their looks. They can be smothered in make-up, yet simultaneously look completely worn out. They're often wearing ultra-high heels, and some sort of tights/skirt/dress. They strut down the terminal like sassy kittens perhaps hoping to get their flirt-on with Captain McDreamy.
Tip #5: Watch flight attendants and their interactions with male flyers and plane captains. It's oftentimes fabulous + free entertainment.